Writing
Over the years, I've written all kinds of different things from short-form humour to short stories, sketches, even poetry. Oh, did I mention I wrote a book? Because I did.
When in Rome Vol. II
In the immortal words of Britney Spears, oops, I did it again. Though it's not so much of an oops, it's more of an I did it again. As in, I wrote another book. That's right, When in Rome Vol. II is here to bring more LOLs, knee slaps, and chuckles. But don't take my word for it, listen to what the button below has to say about my book. You know, the one I wrote.
Humour Writing
Some of my writing has been published on the World Wide Web. Can you also read a few of these pieces in my books? Of course. But click the links anyway. They're great publications and you'll beef up my stats.
McSweeney's
Behold, I Have Ordered A Side Salad Instead Of Fries
We Can't Open Until Someone Comes Up With A Bon Mot For The Sidewalk Chalkboard
I Am The Clump Of Dried Toothpaste That Takes Over The Nozzle Of Every Tube
Our Artisanal Tacos Are So Damn Good You'll Happily Hand Over Your Identity as Payment
We Can't Open the Cafe Until Someone Comes Up With A Clever Name for Our WiFi Network
Montezuma Pleads With The Gods To Change His Act Of Revenge
Evidence Your Lawyer Isn't a Lawyer, They Just Played One on Law & Order
I Know Your Siren Song Is Famous, But I'd Love To Hear You Sing Something More Contemporary
Your Puny, Human Brain Is No Match for This CAPTCHA
I’m the Type of Rich Where You Don’t Know Where My Fridge Is—Sadly, Neither Do I
What Do You Mean I'm Fired, My Mom Says I'm Doing A Great Job
I Am a Complete Failure As A Father If I Can't Teach My 1-year-old Son How To Tie A Tie
If You've Ever Wanted to Store All Your Money Under a Mattress, We're the Bank for You
When I Take Off My Sunglasses Slowly and Dramatically, I Mean Business
I Am Way More Hydrated Than You
The Guy Who Writes Used Car Ads Is Going Through Something
Our Internet Is Down, So I'm Left With No Choice But To Go Live In The Wilderness
Nothing Says I'm An Important Businessman Man Like A Briefcase Filled With Business Papers
As The First Person In The Zoom Room, The Fate Of Everyone Else Who Gets Admitted Is In My Hands
The Voodoo Doll I Made That Looks Exactly Like You Is Not What You Think It Is
It’s Me, KITT, The Famous Talking Car From The 80s, Want To Hang?
The Very Hungry Caterpillar Thinks You Ought To Be A Bit Less Judgy About Its Diet
The Time Has Come To Tell My Son He's Adopted And Also A Grizzly Bear
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